Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Unconscious Mutterings..and more

Instead of telling you the Gorey details of Poop and Raw eggs in my carpet. I decided to try this out, I found the link on different blog http://familycircus.wordpress.com/2007/09/08/muttering-again/

  1. Singles :: Cheese Slices
  2. Blaze :: Fire
  3. Sandwich :: Grilled Cheese
  4. Outside :: Hot
  5. Gooey :: Chocolate
  6. Industry :: financial
  7. Exclusive :: special
  8. Warranty :: Car
  9. Magical :: Harry potter
  10. Heels :: Ouch :(


    To do you own Unconscious Mutterings go to http://subliminal.lunanina.com

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

My Day

So, I force myself out of bed so I can say bye to hubby, make sure he has his lunch and find he did not brew coffee. Then the baby wakes up early so no alone/quiet time for mommy. Then the 3 year old wakes up early as well. We share an oh so healthy breakfast of eggos, then they watch PBS while I read email, check bank account, read blog, forums, ect.

Then I start thinking about how I haven't seen my oldest cat, and that the last time i recall seeing her was when she snuck out last night when hubby came home. I go out looking for her but to no avail.

Well when I was outside looking for the cat, I noticed how cool and i mean actually a slight chill in the air cool it was outside. I force myself to get dressed and dress the boys and we get outside and loaded into the stroller to go for a walk to the park.

By the time all this is accomplished the chill in the air is gone, but it still isn't too warm either. We walk around the block the long way to the park, and i get settled and set Aidan free to play. Evan watches from his stroller. I sit for a bit then go a slide a bit with Aidan, we get Evan out and he slides a bit with us.

Then Aidan runs off, kicking off his shoes across the grassy area to the volley ball sand pit. I call him back but nothing, I settle Evan back into his stroller, and walk towards Aidan across the grass area still calling him back, threatening that we are now leaving the park because he can't listen. As I am standing in the middle of this big grassy area shouting threats at a 3 year old, the sprinklers come on.

Not only is this bad cause i am getting wet, but because water is Aidan's favorite toy. So I run, grab him, and drag him kicking a screaming, trying to get free to run to the sprinklers, around the edge of the park back down the path to Evan who is safely out of the sprinklers. Get him basically tied into the stroller so we can make our way back home.

As we park the stroller safely into the garage, who should come running up yelling at us like we forced her outside, but Nova the missing cat. I get her in the house and then unload the kids from the stroller, and send Aidan inside. Well he goes inside but holds the door open for the cat, who obviously had not learned her lesson, to come back out side. I yell at her to go back in but she refuses, and i get Evan inside and go after her, and she actually hisses and growls at me. Ungrateful cat, i should make her stay out in the sun.

Safely home all is good now right?

No I stab my toe nail on a picture edge and he bleed everywhere on myself, thankfully not on the carpet though.

I hung pictures I was waiting for my sister to help me hang, and it just doesn't look right. :(

The children proceed to be grumpy, cranky, demanding even though they don't even know what they want. Mean to the cat, mean to each other, mean to me. Ok really only the Aidan is mean to his brother and the cat, and Evan just has a flapping his and hands hitting you/pulling hair problem.

Food is everywhere, the snacks and lunches that were begged and cried for mostly uneaten, toys every where, 3 year old in the play pen while the baby stands on the outside looking at him, (is there something wrong there), I could go on.

I finally get them both down for a nap at the same time, amazing, I even get a shower in, a quick incomplete shower cause i was afraid Evan would wake up any second, but still a shower..alone.. and now I am sharing with you and wandering what the next half of the day will be, now that they both have woke up.

I still need to do things I was not able to or was unwilling to even try to accomplish this morning. I need to make dinner. I need to decided about what kind of part time job i can get and just go find it. and I need to quit rambling to you. But I do feel I am wits end with Aidan.

Oh did I mention that last night he freaks us out by making a big loud noise in the kitchen and we go find out that there in the middle of the floor is a landscaping light, that had at one time been staked somewhere into our yard. I am almost positive he was never outside w/o me and never in the back yard, so he have no clue how he managed this. (don't worry the lights were not working and wires cut on them long before we lived here)...we are a bit scared now.


***Updated***
I figured out what has Nova all in a tizzy, she must have got into a cat fight, becaue she has a slash accross her lip. Looks very clean and I didn' see any other injuries, but she really didn't let me look to close either. I feel so bad about forgetting about her last night.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Spiders, Webs, and Did I say Spiders, Oh My!!!

OK Today is Sept 23rd. The high today was 91. That is wonderful, and cool , and we can go outside again.

But since it has been horribly hot all summer, even worse than normal here in AZ. Our backyard has gone to the wayside. Dirt, rocks, leaves, spider webs, weeds, and did i mention spider webs. They are everywhere.

I am terrified of spiders. I do not have very many fears, just a few very irrational ones. Like spiders out to get me, the garbage disposal eating my hand, and slipping in the shower and the door being locked and no one being able to find and save me.

So we go out side to start cleaning up the back yard, and there are these spiders webs everywhere and my chest is constricting and I can't breathe right and I am trying to over come this and help in the back yard. Because now that it is cool (lol cool) outside my kids can go out there and play and run. But before they can do that, the yard needs to be clean of spiders so mommy can join them, and she isn't freaking out every other min that she or her kids will be attacked by these creatures.

I last about 10 min max, I just can't take it. Even armed with the hose I am terrified and useless. So I go inside and prepare dinner for the crock pot, and leave hubby and the kids to tackle the yard. But soon it got too warm and they came inside, so there is still alot of progress to make before we can enjoy our patio :(

Where do these fears come from? I have never been bite, attacked or anything by spiders. I don't even recall being afraid of them as a child, this came upon me as a teenager.

I have my moments of strength that I can overcome my fear and remove the spider (yes dead) from my house. My respect for life stops with spiders, I just can't help it.

Anyone else out there suffer from a completely irrational fear like me?

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Glutton for Punishment? and a dork to boot:)

I have been wanting to blog for a couple days now but never had a good topic. Now I can go on about 2 topics, and I think I will. Then I need to clean house, literally.

So i have joined some mom forums with people in my area and with just people that have things in common. I am seeing alot of people with babies the same age as Evan that are pregnant again.

Keep in mind that both of my pregnancies we NO FUN. I was so sick they put me on bed rest with a iv /PIC line for 3-4 month each time. My 1st child was 9 lbs 10 oz ( I am not a big person, 5 foot 2, 125 weight before 1st child) So I had horrid back pain, and once labor started, even the epidural could keep away all the pain in my back, then after 36 hours of labor the DR said he is too big we need to do a c-section. (my mother can tell this story better than I Can, I think I have blocked it out).

2nd baby still as sick not as big though so back pain wasn't bad at all, and scheduled c-section was actually wonderful experience. Recovery sucked but the surgery it self, I actually enjoyed most of.

But given all this, the lost work/pay, the medical bills, the stress on hubby and family to take care of me as well as my child, the fear, the pain ect. I swore off more children, Hubby got fixed 2 was enough. Right, any sane person would make the same choice.

Well now I am getting jealous of all these pregnant women, I for some reason am sad that I won't have another pregnancy or another baby inside me, that I won't breast feed again. Even though all of these things are things you moan and groan about when you are doing it.
I am sad. Stupidly Sad.

What is wrong with me, I must be a glutton for punishment, not to mention that I can barely handle both of my children some days, and ask for help on grocery shopping days cause shopping with them is at times impossible.

But I do still yearn for another.



OK my other topic:

Have you ever got the urge to cut your hair a lil your self, and then couldn't stop. Some how you convince your self that you are just as capable as the professionals and just cant put the scissors down, you keep going back and fixing this or that for days?

I need the scissors to be hidden, taken away I haven't ruined my hair yet but I know I may soon. (Even though my new bangs I gave my self as far from straight)

I wish I had the foresight to take a before picture, but I will see what i have in stock to show you.

OK I found and took some pics to see what you think. I am suck I dork I know.

2 before and 2 after.

Before:



After:








Monday, September 10, 2007

A lil Laugh

I have been meaning to post this for a few days but haven't quite got around to it till today.

It early morning, I was in the kitchen with my sons. My oldest son was looking up at what I assumed were the cereal boxes on the top of the fridge. In anticipation for breakfast. So i grabbed a box but he stare didn't waiver. I go for a different box but nothing. So I take a step back and what do I see?



Nova, my lil baby girl. Just staring down at us. :)

Now it has taken me a few days to figure out exactly how she gets there.

Counter, Shelf if a cabinet is open then fridge then up to the lil knick Knack or wasted space up top.

I just thought I might try and share a smile...and if that didn't work. How about this?

I walked into this the other day as well.




To all my Ex's

Dear Ex's,
and you know who you are. Thank you.

Yes that is what I said, Thank you.

Thank you for the fights, the heart break, the good times and especially the bad. Thank you for judging me and controlling me. Thank you for the lies and the belittling. Thank you for all the pedestals I fell from as well. You have given me a precious gift.

You gave the the gift of being ready for the one.
My soul mate.
Thank You for my husband.
My husband who is an absolutely wonderful man for me. That is the key now isn't it, "for me". I am not saying that you aren't wonderful, oh dear ex boyfriends. I am sure you are, for someone, one day.

I can't honestly say I would have picked him out of a line up as the man I would marry and be happily ever after with, and I know I would have never given him any type of chance before I met any of you. And that would have been a shame.

He is very quirky, even tempered, off the wall, understanding, supportive, patient. There are still moments, or even days I have no idea what he is talking about. But I learned that it doesn't matter as long as I listened. We don't have a highly passionate love, no roller coaster rides here, but I learned that there is true love in being contented.

He has been there as I grew out of the shell or shroud as some people have called it, that I had grew into as a defense mechanism from my previous relationships, ie. you guys. Thank you for those failed relationships because all the pain and suffering taught me what love really is and what is really worth cherishing. Those previous heart breaks made me into the person I am, a person who knows just how wonderful my husband is, and doesn't always over look the small things he does that nourishes our love as well as me.

Thank you for the man who helped me find and even love me.

He puts up with quirks I never knew I had, he allows me to make mistakes with out judgement or even really criticism, he offers more congratulations you over came that well and look what you learned or sometimes he just offers a "Of course" because he knew all along how it would turn out, but he also knew I wouldn't have listened, that I have to learn on my own.

He allows my flaws, again without judging or criticism, Even allows me acknowledgment of and refusal tot change some of them.

Thank you for the man who loves me for me, not what he wants me to be.

He is more full of love than any person I have ever known. He has the hugest heart. Which I some times call over sensitive but I do truly admire.

Now I still moan and groan as any wife does, and he does have his faults. Faults that maybe you guys didn't have, but they are more than a fair price to pay for all the rest.

So again I say thank you. Thank you for the road I followed to my other half. Thank you for all the bits of me you added or changed, to make me the woman I was when I was found by him.

Sincerely yours, Iva Rose