The Mommy Shields

A lil Late but....59 Things to Do in 2009

2009-01-20T10:36:00.000-08:00

I stole this Idea from a fellow blogger I love, Curios Villager . She did 109 Things to do in 2009 but after discussion with my Beloved, we decided to only do 59 so we would take it more serious and actually do it.

So here is my list:

Take boys to the zoo 1x a month till membership ends at least
Read 6 substantial, non frilly, non vampire books
Contact and go to SARRC
Have all packing done by April 1st, minus necessary items ( We are moving mid April)
Find a creative project for self and see it through to the end
Potty Train the boys Aidan by summer Evan by Dec
Get back into Chore routine for 8 weeks straight
Bake 1 thing new each month (not from a box)
Walk Aidan to and from school 1x a week
Do 1 craft project with the boys a month
Set and do a spacial play time with the boys 1x every 2 weeks at least (ie Play doh, Crayons, Paint Ect)
10-15 min a day each child doing a learning activity (mon-fri)
Sign up for and read vocab word of the week
Talk with a stranger (mom) at the park
Take boys to the park 1x every 2 weeks at least
Go on a picnic as a family
Have a WoW Free week as a couple (not replaced with mindless reading or tv)
Learn to play chess
Buy a lunch for a homeless person
Get into the habit of always using the cloth bags for shopping
Drink a max of 1-3 cokes a week
Take a walk everyday for a week
Meditate everyday for a week
Stay off the Internet for 48 hours
Have a Family TV free Week
Click on the hunger site everyday for a week
Drink 8 Glasses of water everyday for a week
Make something on Instructables.com with the kids
read a chapter book to the boys during the day time
Do something Special for my parents
Write a letter to my Father in law
Write a letter to my my sister in laws (all 3)
Write a letter to my grandma in law (both if i can find addresses)
Write a letter to my papa
Write a letter to my Auntie J
Write a letter to my Congress person
Take boys to feed the ducks
Figure out a way to help mom
Cheer up dad even if for just 1 day
Establish a family game night 1x a month
Volunteering at least 1x for Autism
Start a dance class
get back into photography (start with digital)
Do some kind of exercise 3x a week 15 min a day
Make a new dinner 1x a month
Cook a special Breakfast
Make home made Valentines with the boys
Teach Evan to say some thing ie ( I love you)
Label all the toy boxes
Drive up to the mountains w/ or w/o hubby
Spend a few days alone in CA at Auntie J's
Make something from the sneaky chef cook book
Spend a whole day alone with Mom and Sister
Send out Birthday Cards this year
Get into a follow for at least 1 whole week a healthier morning/night Hygiene routine
Teach kids and enforce to drink and eat in kitchen only
Teach Evan to dress himself
Teach Aidan to write his name
Get our Wills Done

A Re-Introduction of Me

2008-09-27T10:13:00.000-07:00

I am 29 years old, but I will be turning the big 30 in about 6 or so weeks. I am a Scorpio. I am married and we will be having our 5th Anniversary in less than 2 months. We have 2 children, both wonderful boys.
Aidan, is 4, has autism, and is doing great. We still have a lot to learn together and the next year is going to have alot of changes and work, to get ready for kindergarten.
Evan will be 2 in Dec, he is so SO different from his older brother it amazes me at times. He still doesn't talk too much, and that is causing us some concern. But all other areas he has developed just great. He has a bit of a temper, but then can be a sweet lil darling cuddle bug as well.

I am trying to get on top of my life, to live a less stressful, less cluttered, cleaner, healthier life. I am making progress minus the healthy part. I seem to be gaining weight and it is kinda dragging me down. Also financially things suck big time, but I am trying not to let that get me down to much.

The house is looking good and is manageable, I am having less and less issues getting rid of things. Except the boys toys, I have a hard time with those still.

I have Incorporated the Flylady way into running my house. I don't do it exactly like they say but I used it as a guideline that suits me and mine.

I am slowly and I do mean slowly learning and practicing more wicca. I am doing my best to listen to my high self. But I have self trust issues that block it a lot :(

I am an Obama support or, I can't say he is my perfect choice, but for the most part he is in line with what I would hope for this country. I am not a debater, (usually) I can't sprout facts, quotes, or statistics to support my choice. Honestly a good deal of it is based on my gut or just what I feel in an instinctual way. Also I listen to my Beloved alot, but then make my own decision and no we do not always agree, and if we do many times it is for different reasons.

Ok I think that is a good general catch up. Talk to you soon.

I am Baaaack...Muhahaha

2008-09-19T11:14:00.000-07:00

So I am going to try this again. I am sorry that I just kinda stopped for a while. There were no inspirational words trying to get out of my head. There really aren't any now either, but I feel I need to try. I am slowly getting on top of things again in my life so I wanted to add this to the lists of accomplishments I am making.

So far I have stopped drinking coke but 1-2x a week, I have started and pretty much kept up with a household cleaning/chore schedule. This Sat will be the 4 week mark for it :) It may not sound like much but it is a pretty good feeling. I also have been cooking real meals more, like from a recipe book. It is fun and so far nothing has sucked.

Aidan has started back to pre-school for the school year. We still have some attention and running issues but his language is getting better. The potty training is at a bit of a stand still, I think his lil bro may beat him to it, but they maybe the motivation he needs. Evan is not really talking too much. I am trying not to worry since almost all his other developmental goals are met, but I can't help a lil worry. But I figured I will wait till Dec at his 2nd Birthday to really stress.

With the financial industry and things being already tight before we have all but decided that we are moving in with my parents when our lease is up in May. I can see many good things coming from this and I know it won't be perfect but I am not gonna create any negative feelings about it. At least I can stop thinking of ways and things we need to improve this house or how to afford a new couch and other household things.

I miss my sister, spending an evening with he 2 nights ago kinda made it sink in just how much. My dad is grumpy lately, he hates how much money is bad for everyone, and now it is even hurting him.

Well that is my small update for now. I will do more later. I will try and keep in touch more.

Been Busy Reading

2008-08-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

I found this new, great and affordable way to get more books to read. It is Called Paper Back Swap.com, they also have cd, and dvd swaps as well:)
I have swapped over 81 books in the last few months and it only cost me shipping. I was able to get all the rest of the books in a 16 book series, I never thought i would because we cant afford it and there are no used book stores in the lil town 20 miles outside of Phoenix I live in, and with 2 children 3 and under I just can't make it all the way into the city and into a book store. You can even print prepaid shipping wrappers, wrap it up with tape and drop books in the mail. It is wonderful.

and if you do decide to join and give it a try not only is membership free, but you will help lil ole me get more credits as well :) So thank you in advance. Happy Reading:)

I love to read!!!!!

2008-04-10T08:23:00.001-07:00

...but I don't always have time, or the strength to keep my eyes open, or sometimes even the focus power. My reading kinda goes in phases, I will read every possible moment for a month or too,ll and then, i will barely be able to get into a book. Even if it is one I know I love.
I don't alwasy read the most quality of books, and I do have a small vampire fetish. So if you know any good Vampire books let me know !!!
Right now I am ready for a 2nd time, The Tale of the Body Thief, By Anne Rice. I am into it but my time/energy doesn't quiet let me get too far. I actually looked forward to a dr appnt so I would have to wait and have a chance to read :P Nuts huh?

Anyways the point of this is to share a blog I found, where there are contests to win books, woot!!!

A current contest has 2 very intersesting books to be won.

Funk

2008-04-07T18:34:00.001-07:00

Warning: This post is just a form of release with no plan what so ever, just me writting because I don't know what else to do.

I am in a funk today. A state of depression or something. Not a place I really want to be, but I kinda don't care to find the energy or what not to pull myself out at the moment.

All that progess I was making is at a stand still if not a slow avalanche. Today was suppose to be the day to get on top of things again.

That didn't happen. and for some reason, that is not really anyones fgault really, No body can make me happy today, EVERYONE is irritating me and I just want them all to shut up or go away.

You would think it is pms, but it isn't, unless there is a post-ms instead of a Pre-one.

My head hurts, my stomache is upset, I barely ate or drank, and what I did had no good taste to it.

The bed though, the bed sounds wonderful....I have been so tired for no real good reason and everyday I want to go back to bed, but today it was like calling to me.

So I hope that this helps me get over this funk, and lets me get up, take my son to his therapy in the morning, go take care of what ever needs to be taken care of in town, then come home and get this place in gear.

Oh my goodness it is 7pm, wow time flys when you arent doing anything.

I have to accomplish something, I have been mean to my poor Beloved today. He has taken the brunt of my mood, better him than the kids, but it still isn't fair.

I am gonna go drink some water, stretch, clean up the mess of gold fish the kids madee, and figure out a more detailed plan for dinner.

On a side note we find out this Friday if my son gets into the preschool which will be a great thing for him. :)

Catching Up

2008-03-13T19:11:00.000-07:00

So I haven't (once again) blogged in awhile. I want to I had this very special blog planned in my head but never found the time to get it out. Now it is fading from my head and won't ever be the same.

My oldest son, on Feb 15th was diagnosed with Autism. I had a blog planned centered all around that. But the raw pain is leaving me now and I am not sure the same words will come out that I originally had planned, but I will write that blog, hopefully with in the next 3-4 days.

I had 1 tooth pulled Monday and the one next to that has a root canal. It was the best way to spend our money and get all the work I need done to all the teeth that need it. So I have been on vicodin and these steroid pills for 4 days now and I haven't been myself. Plus I haven't really been eating and I had icecream today which was like the 1st sugar i have had in 4 days and between that and the vicodin i was feeling pretty good, I wasn't making much sense but it sure felt good :)

My youngest son had his 15 month check up today. He is in good health, small bit of congestion, and has a few teeth coming in. The Dr had him get his MMR 3 months early due to the Measles outbreak in San Deigo they are afraid will travel here to AZ. I was assured that the immunizations were mercury free, I had been very concerned and doing a fair bit of research on that. I had planned on post poning the shot till 2 years old, but with this measles thing that has come up, i decided my only real concern was the mercury and that was no longer a factor. But the idea of skipping it and watching my baby boy suffer through measles made it a no brainier. I guess he has a big head and is a lil tall for his weight, not sure that really means anything. He lost weight and thinned out once he started walking, so I was just glad he had gained weight again.

I have been spending alot of time online with a good friend, who lives in San Deigo, there had been times in my life I wasn't just sure how good or close the 2 of us were or would be, and was kinda sad because I knew what potential we had, and we seemed to drift apart or just get distracted by our own lives alot. But we have bonded alot lately and i am so very happy. She is even coming to see us and we get to meet her lil man. It will be a fun week with 3 lil men running around.

My kitten is missing, again, he was missing for about 3 days but he came home. Then a nameless person had my son let him outside and we haven't seen him since, it has been 5 days now and my heart is breaking. He is so good with the kids and so gentle and loving, I miss him so.

I have been dong alot better in my daily life, keeping up with house work and such. I have been accomplishing goals and it has been very very nice. There will be a lil bit of recovery needed after this week of pain/drug induced laziness, which i had hoped a lil that Beloved would be better at picking up slack, but he is having sympathy tooth pains or maybe they really are real too :P plus picking up the slack is not his strong suit in the 1st place, but sicne i was so caught up on House hold stuff there wasn't alot of room for things to pile up, Yay. My next plan is once i have gotten back on top of things then i may start trying to work some walking time into my new daily routine.

Ok well that should just about catch you up, sorry about the long rambling. I am good and I can see top of the mountain, just a few more rocks and climb and we will be there. It feels great already. I know that there will some day sooner or later be more hills and mountains, what would be the point if there wasn't more lessons heading our way, but this particular one has given me the strength training i needed to be able to tackle those a lil bit better now.

I Broke an Eight-teen Wheeler with my Mind

2008-01-30T13:02:00.000-08:00

So, there we are. My 2 lil boys and I driving south on the 101. We have a wide load 18 wheeler in front off us hauling a building or at least part of a building. We can't get around it.

Then is takes the same off/on ramp as we do to get on the next freeway. As it is doing this, right in front of me still. I think, "That is too big for the on ramp, what if it falls over or breaks down"

That's when it happened, a wheel comes rolling from the thing. Rolls right past me. I am still in denial that it is from the 18 wheeler till i see the smoke/dirt flying from behind it, then i see the pieces of another wheel come flying out from under it, all over the road in front on me.

I slow down, I wonder is it gonna stop and trap us all on the ramp or just keep going till it can pull over. With out obscuring traffic. It did the latter, by a hair. So everyone safely got to continue there journey. Nothing else exciting happened to the truck or the people driving it.

I felt so bad, I can't help but wonder if my negative thoughts had something to do with it. Kinda freaky, maybe I should be put away in a room with thick walls and no windows. I could become a menace to society.

On a more humours note, I email my beloved at work to tell him the story and the following is our email conversation

Beloved: "wow. that's kinda freaky. Are you stuck?"

Me: "Yes I got on the Internet from my car"

Beloved: "wow.....I guess that was a stupid question, huh?"

...and no I do not have a cell phone or palm pilot that can look at email or any of that stuff, just in case you were wondering. :)

Sneaky vs. Picky

2008-01-23T18:44:00.000-08:00

So today in an act of desperation I ordered "The Sneaky Chef" Book. I have read some rave reviews and the OT therapist recommended it.

My three year old will not eat most things, and even things he would eat before are being refused. His diet mainly, and please don't judge, consists of cereal, eggos, Yogurt, bananas, peeled apples, pop corn, pickles, rice, gold fish, raisins, milk, and juice. Sometimes crackers and sometimes chicken strips/nuggets and mac & cheese.

He has food sensitivities to some foods like strawberries and anything with red dye in it. Slowly we are weaning out any thing with dyes and most preservatives. But with his being picky it has been very hard.

He has learning and speech delays. He talks and behaves more like a 18-24 month old rather than a 3 1/2 year old. There has been much improvement especially since we removed the red dye. But I am so frustrated as well as woried that he isn't getting adequate nutrition.

I want him to eat but, I want him to try new things, he refuses even 1 bite of things he doesn't think he likes. Not even hot dogs, corn dogs, or pizza. I have sent him to bed hungry, and have let him eat cereal for Breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have tried everything in between.

So I will see how this helps, wish me luck and I will be sure update once we get the book and give it a try.

Come On, Take a Swing

2008-01-20T08:05:00.000-08:00

We have had political "discussions" already this morning. Beloved loves Huckabee, I don't trust him. I can't tell you facts why, just my gut feeling. Which we also had a "discussion" about my gut feelings, Beloved knows how much I can be right, but has dragged us through drama because he didn't trust me, and asked me not to trust myself. Why I let him tell me not to trust myself, (not in to many words, but that is what it comes down to) I don't know.

I just wonder after all these "discussions" so far this morning, what else today has in store.

...and poor Roomie has to sit here and listen to all our "discussions" He is smart enough not to interject, even though I am sure I have heard a few chuckles coming from his general direction.

Beloved and I don't really fight I guess we have arguments but I am not sure you can really call it that either. Half our disagreements are solved before either of us even open our mouths. We both "fight" each other in our heads. My Beloved just doesn't rise up into a real fight, which doesn't allow me to rise up either. This is really against my nature being a full fledge member of the Scorpio community.

It can drive me crazy, makes me feel like a caged tiger, pacing, just looking for something to unleash my fury on. I think that is why I like WoW so much. I get to blow up, beat up and kill things. It satisfies my violent nature in a safe environment. But there are a few times when unsuspecting people, like my sister and every now and then my kids or the cats that get stung.

I think it is time Beloved stepped up to the plate and took a few punches himself. Let go of his Tauren nature and just let things fly...for me.

Poor, poor roomie, joining our lil domestic clan at such a time.

Don't Bother Me

2008-01-15T19:59:00.001-08:00

Completely Random

2008-01-15T10:10:00.000-08:00

I really need a hair cut, I am stating to look like I tried to give my self a mullet. A few or 6 months back I cut myself some bangs, and now it has grown out. I wasn't completely happy with what I did, it wasn't what I envisioned. Part of me wants to try again and part of me wants to go see what a professional can salvage. I would post a picture but I am not that brave.

In other news, I feel better today than I have in over a week. The pain is almost gone, I just have some tension that goes through my jaw line and neck. But even that is better today.

So hopefully I will get off my ever expanding but and get something done around the house today. Maybe even take the kids out to the park. It is suppose to be 65 today, I have lived here for over 10 years (off and on) and I still can't get over the weather. Part of me thinks I need to live some where, where there is real seasons for a year or 2. Because where I grew up in west Texas, it wasn't too much different than this. We did get snow and better rain storms but that is about it.

As you can tell, I had no set topic for this blog. Just felt like sharing. I hope everyone is having a good day, and I will think of something better to write about soon. But I have 30 mins left to get stuff done, before WOW is done patching and Roomie (I guess that I what I will call him) can play.

Pity Party

2008-01-08T17:27:00.000-08:00

I am gonna throw myself one, as soon as I can eat brownies :)

I have more than a few bad teeth that need root canals. It is a long, stupid story as to how it ever even got to this point. But Now it is just money and open appointments and people to watch the kids, that are keeping us from getting them all done.

I had an emergency one done Yesterday morning because i was barely alive all weekend and the Vicodin and 800 mg of Ibuprofen wasn't even touching the pain, but here I am 2 days later still in pain. It still hurts as does the tooth next to it, and my ears and throat, and tongue where it got cut and lips where my son head butted me and busted them.

So I am drugged up and constantly washing my mouth with salt water and Listerine. I have even tried a few home remedies like drops of warm olive oil in your ear and swishing vanilla extract on your teeth and nothing is really helping. Between chasing kids, getting house "clean" for our new room mate and trying not to move more than the children force me, I am at a loss for distractions from the pain.

Games online don't work, by the way I have learned that I am not smarter than a 5th grader, reading isn't bad but I don't get very far before a kid has me up and going again.
I feel so bad because nothing is getting done, I feel like hell cause i can't eat and empty tummy and meds don't mix, my temper is short. and I have been head butted, kicked, punch and slapped in the mouth at least 1x each in the last few days.
Our new roommate will be here in like 13 hours or so and I am so not ready. I m such a mess.

This isn't the way I planned to kick off my New Years resolutions at all. Now that I have moaned and groaned too much, I will go and attend to my kids needs again. Times like this i really want my mommy.

Friday Night Highlights

2008-01-04T20:16:00.000-08:00

Hubby who I will call Beloved from here on out, got home a bit late, and bedtime is his time with the boys. The 3 of them are in there giggleing WAY too loudly to be getting ready for bed. It just occurred to me as i started writ ting this, that they haven't brushed their teeth yet. I think I will let it slide, I don't want to interrupt them or get them out of bed.

Beloved is reading them the Narnia Series. They have already read The Hobbit. Actually Beloved read the Hobbit to Aidan while he was still in my tummy. Then they went slowly through the Lord of the Rings and some if not all of The Silmarillion. Some Harry Potter, The 2 Eragon books out, and I know I am missing something but I am not sure what.

I am sometimes jealous of this time, but I am with them ALL day and not only is this my quiet/clean up time. It is also special to Beloved. He shares his love of reading and they say their "prayers" (I will expand on the quotations at another time, I mean no disrespect or offense, but we have a slightly different out look on this, from most people and from each other)

Here is a Pic of them getting ready to crawl in bed, sporting their new PJ's and Slippers from YaYa (Grandma).

Now hubby is popping popcorn and we are gonna be lazy and watch Resident Evil 3, he has been waiting along time to see it. We never made it to the theater, I am sure those of you with kids understand.

Life is good, even with all the things I griped about today and all the things that didn't get done, that fell about, the bruises, the toothaches and the bills. I could go on but I am sure you get the picture. Life is sweet and Life is not how I ever pictured it but oh so much better. It really is a wonderful life, and I love that the most exciting this I did this Friday Night was take a moment to soak in the blessedness.

Thank You for allwoing me to share.

Resolutions

2007-12-31T07:21:00.000-08:00

There are so many things I want to resolve to do. But I don't want to make a resolution that I will just justify breaking with in a week. Part of me wants to pick just ONE thing and focus on it. Part of me has already made excuses that there is no one thing that will work w/o doing the others as well.

If you could only hear the conversations i have with myself, you might just have me committed.

Exercise, no coke(the drink), eat better as a family, do more projects with the kids, spend less time on the computer, go for walks x time a week or even daily, cook more, get a real routine going, drink more water, Clean more, get and stay organized, save money, spend less, the list could go on. Get out of the house more should be added.

How can I pick just one, they are all important to the betterment of not just me but my family.

I know I should have made this decision before now, but just like everything else I procrastinated it.

I could do something like stick with a set routine, that includes one on one time with both kids together and induvudulaly, go for a walk everyother day, 1 coke a week, and save money. That is a good "easy" mixture..right?

Birth Month Personality Meme

2007-12-18T10:53:00.000-08:00

Yay!!! I was tagged by Tee.

The guidelines for this meme:

1. Mention the person who tagged you and create a link back to them.
2. Copy-paste the traits for all the twelve months (see below).
3. Pick your month of birth (see below).
4. Highlight the traits that apply to you.
5. Tag 12 people and let them know by visiting their blogs and leaving a comment for them.
6. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve done it!

I tag:

Leeriac
Monkey Overlord
Our Gang Of Girls

I don't Know 12 bloggers so 3 will have to be enough

I was born in November, the bolded ones are ones I feel fit me:)

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

THE MONTHLY FLAVORS, WHICH ARE YOU?

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

Unconscious Mutterings Too

2007-12-14T16:40:00.000-08:00

Master :Trainer:

Tour :De France:

Input :Output:

Downtown :Girl:

Pricey :Renovations:

Acceptable :Behavior:

Terrace :Flowers:

Sunday :Off:

Payoff :Money:

Jack and Jill :Went up the Hill:

See previous post for link to get your own Unconscious Mutterings

Oh Christmas Tree

2007-12-14T16:35:00.000-08:00

I know you non-exsitent avid readers have missed me:P

I am sorry I have been lacking..in time (management), inspiration, coherent thought, and over laoded in stress, worry, and too many thoughts.

But Today I saw this widget thingie. I thought it would be fun to share.

You Are a Traditional Christmas Tree

For a good Christmas, you don't have to re-invent the wheel.You already have traditions, foods, and special things you bring out every year.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatchristmastreeareyouquiz/">What Christmas Tree Are You?

SuperMOM

2007-10-22T09:31:00.001-07:00

This is not the way I ever saw it.

When I was a child I imagined myself as a mom, as a grown up, I imagined my wedding, my children, my job. Even as a young adult I imagined these things. I saw a force to be reckoned with, but I saw nothing like my mother.

I saw wonderful outfits, and clean organized houses, I saw outings, and teaching, laughter, conversations. I saw delicious timely meals. I saw fabulous, surprising, romantic proposals and anniversaries, and honeymoons. I saw a healthy, happy, cute pregnancy and a completely natural child birth. I saw friends and family full of children the same age as mine, and gatherings and BBQ. I saw pets galore and backyards with plenty of space.

Needless to say it has turned out nothing as I planned and dreamed. But I never dreamed of the depths of true love, I never imagined how easy sacrifice can be. So as each dream, went by and I barely flinched at the difference of reality from dreams.

Except the dream of being SuperMOM, that is the hardest one to let go of. That's the one I struggle with. I allow it to drag me down to depression and despair. Everyone tells me I am a good mom, that I do the best I can.

There is this voice though, that says BS! I know I can't ever be SuperMOM, I know that always being spectacular, clean, organized, endlessly creative, on time, and a fabulous cook is impossible. But I know that if I just push a little harder, that if a drag myself out of this funk, I could be a better mom, a better wife, a better human.

After 3 plus years I haven't managed much consistent improvement. I don't know how much is truth and how much is still dreaming of SuperMOM. I don't know which faults to just accept or change.

Right now I have no drive, no energy, no driving desire. Just self pity, pain, and magical wishes.
With the light at the end of the tunnel becoming farther and farther away. It likes to come just with in reach and tease me with hope, then fly away cackling.

Even my blog is full of sorrow, complaints and self pity. Not at all what I originally planned.

So even though my teeth hurt, my sinuses and allergies are driving me nuts, my job keeps coming and going, we need so many thing and have no money. Even though I want to sleep all alone for days, with only books and blankets for company. I am gonna push through once again.

I am even baking bread today and well that is a start for today :)

What a Mom says

2007-10-19T08:17:00.001-07:00

OK I found this on one of the mommy forums I am on. I laughed so hard I had tears streaming down my face and my 3 year old came up and gave me a hug.
Please enjoy, and maybe have some kleenexes at hand as well.

What A Mom Says.

10 Literary Characters I would Make Out With

2007-10-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

I wasn't truely tagged with this Meme, that I read on Spilt Milk but I thought it was cool, so I am doing it anyways.
"Ten Literary Characters I Would Totally Make Out With If I Were Single and They Were Real But I’m Not, Single I Mean, I Am Real, But I’m Also Happily Married and Want to Stay That Way So Maybe We Should Forget This..."
1. Lestat - From the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice, not the Tom Cruise one the true literary one.

2. Rhett Butler - Really who wouldn't?

3. Sirius Black - I was so distraught when he died I hoped and Prayed he would come back. I wanna cry now too :(

4. Tarquin "Quinn" Blackwood - From Blackwood Farm and Blood Canticle also By Anne Rice. Yes I have always had a thing for Vampires It started with the Count on Sesame Street I think.

5. Aragorn - From the Lord of the Rings series

6. Edmond Dantes - I loved all of Alexander Dumas work but I think he stuck with me the most.

7. Michael Curry - From The Mayfair Witches Series by Guess Who? Anne Rice at least he isn't a vampire...Just an Irish Witch

8. Roux - From Chocolat I loved the movie and then Adored the book.

9. Edward Cullen - Another Vampire in a Trilogy by Stephanie Meyer

10. Jean-Claude - From Lauren K Hamilton in her Anite Blake Books, any takers want to guess what he is? I am starting to think I need help.

and I can only really Tag 1 person for this So have fun Leeriac.

Ramblings of Life

2007-10-02T10:55:00.000-07:00

Things I want to blog about:
My boys
cooking
holidays
money
going back to work
new car
time management
house cleaning/organization
WoW
My "Faith"
My brain
Our trip to the Zoo Parking Lot and Aidan going shopping for him self
My poor poor carpet
No Friends

that is just what i can remember

I have a Bad tooth ache, I was told about 18 months ago I needed multiple root canals, but I was going to cost lots of money we didn't have, I was prego and very sick. So it got put off. Then hubby got new insurance an great fully paid free insurance but by the time we actually got the cards because there was some kinda issue with verifies us as his dependents, Hubby decided he couldn't work the 2 jobs anymore and quit.
He was working 2:45 am to 6:45 am at UPS and then 7am to 5pm at his full time job, It was a very hard schedule on all of us. But we thought he would get promoted to a driver and then he could quit the full time job and and be full time at UPS, but it wasn't happening and there was no end in sight. And he was so tired and gettign sick all the time, when he use to never get sick.
I know we could have gone to the dentists and eye Dr and had the insurance billed w/o cards, or some how paid them with our non existent money and the insurance would be reimbursed after it got all situated, but I didn't know or predict that hubby was gonna up and quit so I thought that waiting another month would be OK.
Well I was wrong and we got the insurance cards in the mail the last day hubby worked at UPS. So now we switched to his full time jobs, Insurance and it is better than most but still has a deductible and we don't have that money and we would still have to pay a percent after that, I just I am not sure what.
With the deductible for the health and the deductible for the dental, and we need to use both soon because Aidan will start going to Phsycologists to see why he isn't talking soon. I know we have better coverage than alot of people, and that it cold be worse. But I am constantly on Tylenol and ibuprofen to keep the pain at bay. And i Know what can happen if the infections in your teeth aren't treated and I am scared and stressed.
So besides needing a new car cause hubby's is dieing and because we just don't fit in out lil cars very well. I have to go back to work PT and hubby has to work nights, but then if I start work then I can't immediately take off to get dental work done, and Christmas is coming and did we have 3 nieces we have never met, and we haven't seen my husbands family since Oct 2004?
If I get my old job back PT then the insurance is better I think, and we can afford a car payment, and there won't be stress to eat and pay rent and all bills each month.
OK I really wanted this to be a happier blog, I REALLY got off track.
If my tooth can just hold off for about 2 months and if I can just get my old job back, then everything should be OK, and there is so much good that can come from all this.
OK this touched on a few things I wanted to blog about. After I get the boys settled I will try for a different topic.
So I am actually in a good mood, I went for a walk in the over cast day with the boys, my ten months old is biting my knee cap and it hurts like ..well you know, but his face is so cute when he looks up at me I don't really care, plus his teething hurts worse than my knee and Aidan is dressed in pants and really well dressed at all and looks too cute and too old. All these things as well as that hubby gets off early today are just good and make all the else worth it. :)

Unconscious Mutterings..and more

2007-09-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

Instead of telling you the Gorey details of Poop and Raw eggs in my carpet. I decided to try this out, I found the link on different blog http://familycircus.wordpress.com/2007/09/08/muttering-again/

Singles :: Cheese Slices
Blaze :: Fire
Sandwich :: Grilled Cheese
Outside :: Hot
Gooey :: Chocolate
Industry :: financial
Exclusive :: special
Warranty :: Car
Magical :: Harry potter
Heels :: Ouch :(

To do you own Unconscious Mutterings go to http://subliminal.lunanina.com

My Day

2007-09-25T16:12:00.000-07:00

So, I force myself out of bed so I can say bye to hubby, make sure he has his lunch and find he did not brew coffee. Then the baby wakes up early so no alone/quiet time for mommy. Then the 3 year old wakes up early as well. We share an oh so healthy breakfast of eggos, then they watch PBS while I read email, check bank account, read blog, forums, ect.

Then I start thinking about how I haven't seen my oldest cat, and that the last time i recall seeing her was when she snuck out last night when hubby came home. I go out looking for her but to no avail.

Well when I was outside looking for the cat, I noticed how cool and i mean actually a slight chill in the air cool it was outside. I force myself to get dressed and dress the boys and we get outside and loaded into the stroller to go for a walk to the park.

By the time all this is accomplished the chill in the air is gone, but it still isn't too warm either. We walk around the block the long way to the park, and i get settled and set Aidan free to play. Evan watches from his stroller. I sit for a bit then go a slide a bit with Aidan, we get Evan out and he slides a bit with us.

Then Aidan runs off, kicking off his shoes across the grassy area to the volley ball sand pit. I call him back but nothing, I settle Evan back into his stroller, and walk towards Aidan across the grass area still calling him back, threatening that we are now leaving the park because he can't listen. As I am standing in the middle of this big grassy area shouting threats at a 3 year old, the sprinklers come on.

Not only is this bad cause i am getting wet, but because water is Aidan's favorite toy. So I run, grab him, and drag him kicking a screaming, trying to get free to run to the sprinklers, around the edge of the park back down the path to Evan who is safely out of the sprinklers. Get him basically tied into the stroller so we can make our way back home.

As we park the stroller safely into the garage, who should come running up yelling at us like we forced her outside, but Nova the missing cat. I get her in the house and then unload the kids from the stroller, and send Aidan inside. Well he goes inside but holds the door open for the cat, who obviously had not learned her lesson, to come back out side. I yell at her to go back in but she refuses, and i get Evan inside and go after her, and she actually hisses and growls at me. Ungrateful cat, i should make her stay out in the sun.

Safely home all is good now right?

No I stab my toe nail on a picture edge and he bleed everywhere on myself, thankfully not on the carpet though.

I hung pictures I was waiting for my sister to help me hang, and it just doesn't look right. :(

The children proceed to be grumpy, cranky, demanding even though they don't even know what they want. Mean to the cat, mean to each other, mean to me. Ok really only the Aidan is mean to his brother and the cat, and Evan just has a flapping his and hands hitting you/pulling hair problem.

Food is everywhere, the snacks and lunches that were begged and cried for mostly uneaten, toys every where, 3 year old in the play pen while the baby stands on the outside looking at him, (is there something wrong there), I could go on.

I finally get them both down for a nap at the same time, amazing, I even get a shower in, a quick incomplete shower cause i was afraid Evan would wake up any second, but still a shower..alone.. and now I am sharing with you and wandering what the next half of the day will be, now that they both have woke up.

I still need to do things I was not able to or was unwilling to even try to accomplish this morning. I need to make dinner. I need to decided about what kind of part time job i can get and just go find it. and I need to quit rambling to you. But I do feel I am wits end with Aidan.

Oh did I mention that last night he freaks us out by making a big loud noise in the kitchen and we go find out that there in the middle of the floor is a landscaping light, that had at one time been staked somewhere into our yard. I am almost positive he was never outside w/o me and never in the back yard, so he have no clue how he managed this. (don't worry the lights were not working and wires cut on them long before we lived here)...we are a bit scared now.

***Updated***
I figured out what has Nova all in a tizzy, she must have got into a cat fight, becaue she has a slash accross her lip. Looks very clean and I didn' see any other injuries, but she really didn't let me look to close either. I feel so bad about forgetting about her last night.

Spiders, Webs, and Did I say Spiders, Oh My!!!

2007-09-23T18:04:00.000-07:00

OK Today is Sept 23rd. The high today was 91. That is wonderful, and cool , and we can go outside again.

But since it has been horribly hot all summer, even worse than normal here in AZ. Our backyard has gone to the wayside. Dirt, rocks, leaves, spider webs, weeds, and did i mention spider webs. They are everywhere.
I am terrified of spiders. I do not have very many fears, just a few very irrational ones. Like spiders out to get me, the garbage disposal eating my hand, and slipping in the shower and the door being locked and no one being able to find and save me.

So we go out side to start cleaning up the back yard, and there are these spiders webs everywhere and my chest is constricting and I can't breathe right and I am trying to over come this and help in the back yard. Because now that it is cool (lol cool) outside my kids can go out there and play and run. But before they can do that, the yard needs to be clean of spiders so mommy can join them, and she isn't freaking out every other min that she or her kids will be attacked by these creatures.

I last about 10 min max, I just can't take it. Even armed with the hose I am terrified and useless. So I go inside and prepare dinner for the crock pot, and leave hubby and the kids to tackle the yard. But soon it got too warm and they came inside, so there is still alot of progress to make before we can enjoy our patio :(

Where do these fears come from? I have never been bite, attacked or anything by spiders. I don't even recall being afraid of them as a child, this came upon me as a teenager.

I have my moments of strength that I can overcome my fear and remove the spider (yes dead) from my house. My respect for life stops with spiders, I just can't help it.

Anyone else out there suffer from a completely irrational fear like me?

Glutton for Punishment? and a dork to boot:)

2007-09-15T08:19:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to blog for a couple days now but never had a good topic. Now I can go on about 2 topics, and I think I will. Then I need to clean house, literally.

So i have joined some mom forums with people in my area and with just people that have things in common. I am seeing alot of people with babies the same age as Evan that are pregnant again.

Keep in mind that both of my pregnancies we NO FUN. I was so sick they put me on bed rest with a iv /PIC line for 3-4 month each time. My 1st child was 9 lbs 10 oz ( I am not a big person, 5 foot 2, 125 weight before 1st child) So I had horrid back pain, and once labor started, even the epidural could keep away all the pain in my back, then after 36 hours of labor the DR said he is too big we need to do a c-section. (my mother can tell this story better than I Can, I think I have blocked it out).

2nd baby still as sick not as big though so back pain wasn't bad at all, and scheduled c-section was actually wonderful experience. Recovery sucked but the surgery it self, I actually enjoyed most of.

But given all this, the lost work/pay, the medical bills, the stress on hubby and family to take care of me as well as my child, the fear, the pain ect. I swore off more children, Hubby got fixed 2 was enough. Right, any sane person would make the same choice.

Well now I am getting jealous of all these pregnant women, I for some reason am sad that I won't have another pregnancy or another baby inside me, that I won't breast feed again. Even though all of these things are things you moan and groan about when you are doing it.
I am sad. Stupidly Sad.

What is wrong with me, I must be a glutton for punishment, not to mention that I can barely handle both of my children some days, and ask for help on grocery shopping days cause shopping with them is at times impossible.

But I do still yearn for another.

OK my other topic:

Have you ever got the urge to cut your hair a lil your self, and then couldn't stop. Some how you convince your self that you are just as capable as the professionals and just cant put the scissors down, you keep going back and fixing this or that for days?

I need the scissors to be hidden, taken away I haven't ruined my hair yet but I know I may soon. (Even though my new bangs I gave my self as far from straight)

I wish I had the foresight to take a before picture, but I will see what i have in stock to show you.

OK I found and took some pics to see what you think. I am suck I dork I know.

2 before and 2 after.

Before:

After:

A lil Laugh

2007-09-10T13:08:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to post this for a few days but haven't quite got around to it till today.

It early morning, I was in the kitchen with my sons. My oldest son was looking up at what I assumed were the cereal boxes on the top of the fridge. In anticipation for breakfast. So i grabbed a box but he stare didn't waiver. I go for a different box but nothing. So I take a step back and what do I see?

Nova, my lil baby girl. Just staring down at us. :)

Now it has taken me a few days to figure out exactly how she gets there.

Counter, Shelf if a cabinet is open then fridge then up to the lil knick Knack or wasted space up top.

I just thought I might try and share a smile...and if that didn't work. How about this?

I walked into this the other day as well.

To all my Ex's

2007-09-10T12:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Ex's,
and you know who you are. Thank you.

Yes that is what I said, Thank you.

Thank you for the fights, the heart break, the good times and especially the bad. Thank you for judging me and controlling me. Thank you for the lies and the belittling. Thank you for all the pedestals I fell from as well. You have given me a precious gift.

You gave the the gift of being ready for the one.
My soul mate.
Thank You for my husband.
My husband who is an absolutely wonderful man for me. That is the key now isn't it, "for me". I am not saying that you aren't wonderful, oh dear ex boyfriends. I am sure you are, for someone, one day.

I can't honestly say I would have picked him out of a line up as the man I would marry and be happily ever after with, and I know I would have never given him any type of chance before I met any of you. And that would have been a shame.

He is very quirky, even tempered, off the wall, understanding, supportive, patient. There are still moments, or even days I have no idea what he is talking about. But I learned that it doesn't matter as long as I listened. We don't have a highly passionate love, no roller coaster rides here, but I learned that there is true love in being contented.

He has been there as I grew out of the shell or shroud as some people have called it, that I had grew into as a defense mechanism from my previous relationships, ie. you guys. Thank you for those failed relationships because all the pain and suffering taught me what love really is and what is really worth cherishing. Those previous heart breaks made me into the person I am, a person who knows just how wonderful my husband is, and doesn't always over look the small things he does that nourishes our love as well as me.

Thank you for the man who helped me find and even love me.

He puts up with quirks I never knew I had, he allows me to make mistakes with out judgement or even really criticism, he offers more congratulations you over came that well and look what you learned or sometimes he just offers a "Of course" because he knew all along how it would turn out, but he also knew I wouldn't have listened, that I have to learn on my own.

He allows my flaws, again without judging or criticism, Even allows me acknowledgment of and refusal tot change some of them.

Thank you for the man who loves me for me, not what he wants me to be.

He is more full of love than any person I have ever known. He has the hugest heart. Which I some times call over sensitive but I do truly admire.

Now I still moan and groan as any wife does, and he does have his faults. Faults that maybe you guys didn't have, but they are more than a fair price to pay for all the rest.

So again I say thank you. Thank you for the road I followed to my other half. Thank you for all the bits of me you added or changed, to make me the woman I was when I was found by him.

Sincerely yours, Iva Rose

Not sure if I ever got to my point

2007-08-29T12:31:00.000-07:00

OK, I play an online computer game called World of Warcraft (WoW ). I play way too much. I can't even tell you how much because I refuse to add it up and see, but it is bad, like as much as a full time job...maybe. Off and on all day.

It is an escape it is anger management, it is the only way I talk to other adults and moms as well, but I still need to cut back, interact more with my kids, teach them more, cook more, clean more. I have made improvements, but in a way that just shows how sad it really all was.

I am borderline depressed and I think as much as WoW entertains me, and it is one of the only fun things Ican do with my hubby, (therefore keeps me out of full depression) it also keeps me from moving farther away from the borderline of depression.

I am not saying that people who play wow are bad parents or depressed I am just saying I need to find a more healthy balance for me and my family. I love having an affordable way to do something with my husband we both enjoy and can be at home with the kids.

It is soo freaking hot this summer I do not even open the door unless necessary. We live out of town and gas is so expensive that we don't do anywhere. I feel bad we have to run around in the house to get exercise. Aidan is too rambunctious to take to the pool alone with him and his brother, if we had access to one that is.

So we stay in side and try to to projects but usually just play toys and watch tv/movies. Flashcards on good days as well. I can not wait for it to cool down, in about 1 month it should start to get more tolerable.

Maybe we can even use our zoo membership that we have had for 4 months and only used 2 times. We can go to the new park in out lil town. Go for morning walks.

I know that there are other things we can do inside and I have tried a couple but he gets frustrated easy and so do I, and I rarely try past a 2nd time. These are excuses and only that, and I should try, try, try again. Now that I have admitted this to complete strangers maybe I will.

But if anyone out there has ideas, advice, or even sympathizes, any feed back is good feed back to me. (Evan though I know I may regret saying that)

A New Day..?

2007-08-24T16:14:00.000-07:00

I started today with a good attitude. I was gonna make changes. I had a new home page with awesome features from Google, I had motivation, in multiple forms. It started off pretty good, Drank water, good job, made coffee, good job, fed kids, put away clean dishes, exercised/stretched a Lil, realized i was very very outta shape, which just made me glad I was off to this new start, good job. Worked on dishes fed kids more, cleaned kitchen table, started a craft project with a 3yr old. Good idea, hmm not so sure. we fought half the time, I did most of it by myself and he has already taken some of it apart. OK Nice try we made progress, we will try again later. Fed kids again, put big one down for nap. Played WoW for a bit, took a shower with baby. (not so fun but necessary) Fed self and baby. Good Job i even ate healthy and didn't gorge myself with food and ignored my sugar cravings. Baby wont stop crying I am trying to sweep the floor that needs it terribly. crying crying crying. woke up 3 year old, 3 yr old is now crying....make snack for 3 year old, bottle for baby, still crying and or just grumpiness. Ok, where in the world are my parents who said they would be here after 2? Ok the down hill has begun and I am slipping and grasping to hold on to the happy new start day. Best friend calls gives me a pick me up and some how I manage to find the missing remote control, Yay! we now can watch Curious George. Living room clean, all ready for parents, bath room decent, baby happy all of a sudden, but I feel a bit crazed, I need a massage. It is only 4:23 pm Hubby isn't even off let alone home till 6pm. I need just a lil affirmation that I can continue this new day tomorrow. I shouldn't, I should just know that I can, but indulge me please. I know this doesn't sound all that bad, but I was barely keeping myself above water before today. OK seriously where are my parents at?

Getting Started

2007-08-23T23:52:00.000-07:00

It is late and I should go to bed, but I want to get started on my blogging adventure because I am afraid that I won't ever if I don't just do it. I was inspired by a blog I found http://spiltmilkblog.blogspot.com I don't know how to do that link thing yet. I was searching for How to clean dried spilt milk from a papasan chair and i ended up there. I still haven't figured out how to clean my chair.
I am blogging, as a kind of journal for myself. But I think the feed back if any from a blog will help. So please forgive my ignorance, spelling, grammar, mundanes, etc. I need a release, a creative path, for my health and happiness and for my family. A happy mom equals a happy home, and well I am not really all that happy. Evan though I have every reason to be. A wonderful supportive, understanding Patience and and 2 smart, adorable Lil boys. A beautiful if not annoying but loving when she wants to be cat. and Great rented house.

So I know this isn't long, but I am tired and side tracked, more about me later, I promise myself and now you.